


Half A Heart Without You

by TheDisneyOutsider



Series: Comfortember 2020 [17]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Grief/Mourning, Hurt May Parker (Spider-Man), Hurt Tony Stark, Hurt/Comfort, May Parker (Spider-Man) & Tony Stark Coparenting Peter Parker, May Parker (Spider-Man) Needs a Hug, Peter Parker Has Been Dusted, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Tony Stark Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-18
Updated: 2020-11-18
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:21:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 999
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27611312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheDisneyOutsider/pseuds/TheDisneyOutsider
Summary: “Just tell me you were there for him when it happened,” May begged through choked breaths.“I held him until the end,” Tony’s voice was hoarse and quiet.I don’t want to go, I don’t want to go, Mr. Stark. Please.“Thank you,” she whispered.Comfortember, Day 17: Flashbacks
Relationships: May Parker (Spider-Man) & Peter Parker, May Parker (Spider-Man) & Tony Stark, Peter Parker & Tony Stark
Series: Comfortember 2020 [17]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1995802
Comments: 20
Kudos: 98
Collections: Comfortember 2020





	Half A Heart Without You

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Day 17!! I'm pretty sure this is my LAST super sad one. No more Tony or Peter grieving each other... after this one.
> 
> It's sweet though, so you should give it a try anyway :)
> 
> Also, thanks @onedirection for the title 😜

Tony felt his knees go weak as he walked up the familiar staircase towards the apartment on the eighth floor. So many times he had trekked up those same stairs, the first time being when he had first met Peter Parker.

_ When you can do the things that I can... _

_ Just looking out for the little guys... _

Tony felt his breath hitch, and he shook out of his thoughts, reaching the floor he was looking for, and dragging himself towards the familiar door. He raised his fist and knocked once.

He heard a throat clearing from the other side, yet it was almost a full minute before the door swung open, and Tony Stark was wrapped in a powerful hug. Tony had never been one for physical affection, yet Tony grabbed on, just as forcefully, clinging to Peter Parker’s aunt like a lifeline.

The reciprocated grip was all May Parker needed to allow herself to break down, a strangled sob, and then her knees buckled. Tony grabbed her firmly, pulling her upright and dragging her towards the couch.

“Just tell me you were there for him when it happened,” May begged through choked breaths.

“I held him until the end,” Tony’s voice was hoarse and quiet.

_ I don’t want to go, I don’t want to go, Mr. Stark. Please. _

“Thank you,” she whispered, “I hate to think that he was—I just wish I could have been—”

“I know, May. It’s okay,” Tony murmured, unable to listen to the woman’s worst fears because he wasn’t so sure he could lie to her. Those last moments were the worst moments of Tony’s entire life. There was no sugar coating that, but that didn’t mean May needed to hear about it. Those images would live only in Tony’s mind, for the rest of his life.

The pair sat in silence after that, holding each other. Tony glanced around the small apartment. The first time he had been there he never would have guessed how many times he would end up returning for one thing or another.

“ _ Hurry up, kid. If you want me to drive you to school we need to leave in the next... 10 minutes.” _

“ _ I know, I know, Mr. Stark, but you’re the one who’s always telling me I have to eat a good breakfast if I don’t want my Spidey butt to crash by 9 am!” _

“ _ Well, hurry up and grab something!” _

“ _ I don’t know what to have, May hasn’t gone grocery shopping yet.” _

“ _ Then I’ll pick something up for you at a drive-thru on the way.” _

“ _ No, wait! I found something!” _

“ _ Frozen pizza?” _

“ _ Yeah! It’s the best! Do you want a slice?” _

“ _ No, I’m good.” _

“ _ Oh come on, Tony! I bet you’d love it if you gave it a try!” _

“ _ It’s 7:30 am, kid.” _

“ _ That makes it better, I swear!” _

Tony shook his head, longing for one of those mindless conversations that made him roll his eyes. He leaned his head back on the couch cushion feeling the soft blanket draped over the edge.

“ _ I’m not cold Mr. Stark!” _

“ _ Just wrap the blanket around you, Pete, you were out there in freezing temperatures for way too long with no heating system.” _

“ _ I told you, I didn’t mean to forget to tell you the heater in my suit broke, it just slipped my mind!” _

“ _ Yeah, well if you let that slip your mind again I’m taking the suit for a week, it’s winter, you will not put yourself at risk of hypothermia because you think saving other people is more important than looking after yourself. Lift up, I need to stitch up your shoulder.” _

“ _ Ouch, Tony! That hurts!” _

“ _ It would have hurt a lot worse if that guy had something more than a pocket knife on him.” _

“ _ I knooooow, I’m sorry okay?” _

Tony sighed.

“It’s hard not to think about him in here, isn’t it,” May startled Tony out of his thoughts, “I still half expect him to come out of his room asking me if I’ve seen his book bag. It was always thrown on the floor by the door,” she laughed wetly, “That is when he hadn’t lost it in some back alley again.”

“I told him I was going to get him stocks in Jansport or Fjallraven or something since he insisted on throwing so much money at them every few weeks,” Tony reminisced with a smirk.

“He is— _was_ quite the kid,” May let another tear fall, and Tony reached around to brush it away.

“We’re going to get through this, May. It’s never going to feel okay, but we are going to help each other, and we are going to live our lives the best we—you know he would have wanted us to continue living.”

Tony hated talking about him like that. Like he was in the past. Like he was never going to be a part of them again. He was still a part of them. He was there every time Tony closed his damn eyes. Every time he forgot for just a moment, there was something that reminded him of the kid he lost.

_ I’m sorry. _

In his last moments, _ he  _ had apologized. As if he hadn’t made every day since Tony had met him brighter.

It was Tony who was sorry. If he could have just found a way to protect him. If he could have just destroyed Thanos when he had the chance. If he had just tried a little harder.

But he couldn’t get caught up in those thoughts. He never would have let Peter think like that.

“ _ Peter, Ben doesn’t blame you for his death.” _

“ _ But if I hadn’t—” _

“ _ No, kid. You did the best you could, and he knows you loved him. Blaming yourself doesn’t bring Ben back.” _

Blaming yourself doesn’t bring Peter back.

No, it may not. But, he knew one thing for sure. Someday, somehow, he was going to hold his kid again. He was going to figure out a way.

**Author's Note:**

> Who else believes Tony will indeed find a way to get Peter back!? Hands up!! (Edit: this is not meant to be the start of a longer fic, just a one-shot 😂)
> 
> Leave me comments, fuel me!!! Also, it's snowing!! Is it snowing where you are?? Let me know!


End file.
